Really Does She Just Like Me?

Reader Question:

I have been pals because of this girl for a time. She left the woman boyfriend. We’ve been texting a lot – like 200 communications per week. We hold obtaining blended signals from this lady, and that I love her. Can I do it now? But I don’t wish to destroy the friendship sometimes. We additionally go out, and I think she looks for me in the places.

-Ivan S. Bently (Kansas)

Professional’s Response:

Hi, Ivan. Thanks for trusting united states with this vital personal problem.

There is a large number of possibilities to explain what’s going on right here, but let me give you my personal “take.” First and foremost, you state she is delivering blended signals, which probably means she is puzzled and not clear on just what she wishes.

She could still have ideas or hopes for relationship she just remaining, or she might-be waiting for you in order to make a move. She might still be in the healing process, and she is almost certainly not prepared be observed openly with another man yet.

Texting can be her method of communicating and hooking up immediately while she finishes find gay men near metally disconnecting from her ex. She can also be perplexed if her friendship available sometimes looks loves it’s growing into one thing larger, but she is uncertain if you “like” like their.

In terms of you, Ivan, you’re in a tremendously precarious area now. She’s in the rebound and requirements emotional help. She trusts you and feels much better whenever she shares some messages or hangs with you. She actively seeks you in places because she wants you, in one method or another, that is certainly the place you need to be careful. Should you place the friendship very first above the curiosity about internet dating this lady as a girlfriend, you’re in significant likelihood of getting directed into the “friend area,” and that is a challenging destination to escape from.

My personal information for you is to obtain including this lady and talk personally. It must be earlier and reduced than a real day, nevertheless will provide you with a thought if she desires view you or perhaps not. Tell her she needs to escape and simply take one hour to chuckle and savor herself and you would really like the opportunity to communicate with her in a bit more level, also. Pick an area where your pals never get – maybe a Starbucks anywhere – so she’s going to feel as if her privacy is being secured.

Ask her just how she is carrying out incase this woman is undoubtedly done along with her ex. Spend really close attention to the woman body language. Is she leaning closer or away? Is actually she big-eyed and cheerful, or detached and innovative? Is actually she performing “girly” or like a buddy?

Absolutely something else you must do: inform the girl really matter-of-fact method in which you like this lady. Next don’t say another word. She’s to be the second someone to speak. Hunt their straight in vision so she will be able to visit your energy plus sincerity. Boldly and confidently understand her neck or arms. Just be sure she understands you are considering the woman in an intimate man-woman method of method.

Be powerful and sort but never ever mental or eager. Make her like to come to you your nurturing and comfy guy you might be and not for your nice boy who’s “secure” and ordinary. The woman real ideas and objectives should expose themselves as talk unfolds.

Do it,

Nick